20 Clean Jokes That’ll Have Everyone Laughing Away Their Stress
Get ready to instantly uplift your spirits with a generous dose of laughter! In a world often burdened with seriousness, a group of witty minds from an online community has generously shared a collection of wholesome jokes guaranteed to tickle your sense of humor and bring a heartwarming smile to your face. So, settle in, unwind, and get ready to indulge in some hearty laughs.
Super Clean Joke
“A father was washing his car with his son, and the son asked, “Dad, can’t you just use a sponge?”
Fishing Wisdom
“There’s a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.”
Chillin’ with Penguins
“One day, a police officer pulls a car over and sees the back seat is full of penguins. The officer tells the driver, “You can’t be doing this; you must take these penguins to the zoo!” The next day, the police officer pulls the same car and says, “Hey! I told you to take these penguins to the zoo!” The driver says, “I did, and today I’m taking them to the movies!” Cutest!
Birthday Card Joke
“I’ll never forget my dad’s face when I gave him his 50th birthday card, tears in his eyes as he said to me, ‘One would have done”. Hillarious!
Word Game
During a funeral service, a gentleman approaches the grieving widow and says, “Excuse me, may I say a word?”
“Yes, of course,” she says.
The man gets up and says, “Plethora.”
“Thank you,” the widow sobs. “That means a lot.”
Noble Prize
Q. What did they give the guy that invented the door knocker?
A. A No-bell prize.
Quack Quack
What’s a duck’s favorite snack?
Quackers.
The In-laws
Q: What’s the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
A: Outlaws are wanted.
Pun Intended
“I bought the world’s worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it’s terrible.”
Another one, “To the guy who stole my Ms. Office, I will find you. You have my word.”
Laced Laughter
“I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.”
Counting Sheep
I asked a farmer, “How many sheep do you have?”
He said, “More than three!”
“More than three? I can see that, but how many exactly?”
“I don’t know, every time I try to count them, I fall asleep!”
Paws Magic
What do you call a dog that does magic tricks?
A labracadabrador.
Whale of a Road Trip
“How do you get two whales in a car? Start in England and drive west.”
Well Well
Q: Why did the old man fall into the well?
A: Because he couldn’t see that well.
Defense Mechanism
Q: Why don’t ants get sick?
A: Because they have little antybodies.
Soleful Empathy
“Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you’re a mile away when you criticize them and have their shoes.”
Noodle Fun
What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
Play on Words
Did you hear about the kidnapping at the park? They woke up!
Embarrassed Food
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
Cheese Disaster
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded? There was nothing left but de-brie.
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