13 Signs That You’re Dealing with a Narcissist
Struggling to discern whether you’re dealing with a narcissist and feeling a constant sense of self-doubt? You’re not alone! Gaslighting narcissists are adept manipulators, making it challenging to recognize their behaviors. They induce doubt, question your reality, and create a sense of internal chaos. It’s essential to identify the signs to protect yourself from their manipulative tactics. In this discussion, let’s explore classic indicators that can assist you in identifying gaslighting narcissists in your life.
1. Questioning Your Memory
They try to make you doubt your memory. They’ll say, “Your memory is always terrible; I never said that to you.” This can leave you feeling confused and unsure about what you remember.
2. Withholding Communication
“I don’t want to talk about this again with you.” If you hear this sentence very often, it’s one of the obvious signs you’re dealing with a gaslighting narcissist. They deliberately avoid listening to you or act as if they can’t understand what you’re saying, making you feel unheard and frustrated.
3. Blocking
Blocking happens when the abuser challenges your thoughts or the validity of your statements, making you negate your perceptions. For instance: “That doesn’t sound like something that would happen. Are you sure you didn’t just imagine the whole thing?”
4. Diverting the Subject
They stop you from talking about important things and change the topic when you want to discuss something serious. These tactics are off-putting, making it hard to address your concerns by trying to control the conversation and keep you off-balance.
5. Denying the Obvious
They often deny clear and valid things, even when you both know what happened. It’s not that you’re going crazy or your memory is unreliable, but that they are trying to manipulate you by insisting that you are creating these things on your own.
6. Inconsistent Kindness
It happens when they sometimes say nice things, and you feel over the moon, but other times, their negative remarks damage your self-esteem. This rollercoaster of mixed emotions leaves you yearning for affection while enduring hurtful treatment, which can significantly impact your emotional well-being.
7. Lack of Empathy
It means they don’t understand or care about your feelings or see them as insignificant. They can be cold and indifferent when you’re having a tough time or feeling hurt.
8. Consistent Lies
They tell you completely false things while showing no signs that they’re being dishonest. This happens so frequently that you can’t trust anything they say over time and remain in a continuous state of disbelief.
9. Playing the Victim
Whenever you try to communicate about their mistakes, they act as if they are the ones who are hurt or suffering, even when they are the ones causing harm to others. They put on a constant act of innocence, making it seem like everyone else is at fault and they are blameless.
10. Sabotaging Your Abilities
By criticizing your abilities, choices, or appearance, they erode your self-confidence. In the long run, it causes so much emotional damage that you seek their approval and validation in even the smallest things you do.
11. Making Everything Big About Themselves
They flex about their accomplishments by making them more prominent and impressive than they are. They want others to believe they’re the best while constantly putting you down, so you start distrusting your capabilities. They do this to gain power over you and make you feel inferior.
12. Projecting Their Flaws
They act like a mirror, accusing you of their own mistakes. For example, if they’re not honest, they might say you’re the one who lies. They blame you for what they do themselves to shift the focus away from their faults.
13. Cutting Off Support and Independence
They want to keep you away from your friends, family, or anyone who could offer you support and perspective except them. This can start subtly, like discouraging you from seeing loved ones or making you feel guilty when you do. With time, they become more controlling, dictating where you can go, who you can be with, and even what you can do. Their goal is to make you rely entirely on them.
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