15 Ways to Let Someone Go When It Feels Impossibly Heartbreaking
Have you ever clung to something so tightly, only to realize that life had a different plan?
Letting go of someone dear to us can be one of life’s most challenging journeys. It’s like trying to grasp water in your hands. The harder you hold, the more it slips away.
Many reasons might force us to let go of someone we love. It could be the end of a romantic relationship that isn’t working, the death of a loved one, losing a close friend, realizing our own self-worth needs to be prioritized in a toxic relationship, or drifting apart from a family member. It means saying goodbye to a chapter of our lives that we cherish deeply. Feeling heartbroken, lost, and afraid in these moments is okay. But remember, letting go can bring new opportunities, growth, and healing.
We scoured the internet for tips from psychologists. Here are 15 ways to let someone go when it feels impossibly heartbreaking.
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings
When learning to let someone go, the first step is acknowledging your feelings. You must be honest with yourself and understand what’s happening inside your heart and mind.
It’s okay to feel many different emotions when you let someone go, like sadness, anger, or even confusion. Say, “Hey, I feel this way, and that’s fine.”
2. Reflect on the Relationship
Think about all the moments you shared—the good ones and the not-so-good ones. Ask yourself questions like, “What made us happy?” or “Where did things get tough?” Reflecting on your relationship’s story will help you understand why it’s time to let go.
Whether a relationship turned toxic or just wasn’t meant to be, reflecting will bring clarity and closure.
3. Accept the Situation
Accept that things have changed and the relationship has ended, and that’s a part of life. Acceptance is the first step towards healing. It’s like starting a new chapter of your life – it might be a bit formidable, but this is how it is.
Acceptance means you know that you can’t change what happened in the past, but you can shape your future.
4. Give Yourself Time
Healing takes time, and you don’t need to feel pressure to “get over it.” Be patient with yourself and allow yourself some space to heal, like mending a heart that’s feeling a little bruised. Let the clock tick while taking the necessary moments to feel better again.
Eventually, you will notice that you’re feeling better and stronger. And that most days, you’re not even thinking about that person anymore.
5. Set Boundaries
Boundaries help you care for your feelings and ensure you don’t get hurt more. They might involve limiting contact or creating space between you and the person you’re letting go.
Protecting your heart and mind during this process is essential, even if it means temporarily (or forever, depending on the situation) cutting ties with someone.
6. Focus on Self-Care
It’s a time to think about what makes you happy and do things that bring you joy. What have you been neglecting lately that you enjoy doing? Or, what new activity or hobby have you always wanted to try?
Take a bubble bath, cook your favorite meal, or blast music – whatever makes you feel good. Self-care is vital during this time.
7. Talk to Someone
A heart-to-heart chat with a trusted friend, family member, or someone who cares about you puts your heart at ease. Opening up to someone and letting them in is a way of not carrying the weight alone.
8. Practice Self-Compassion
Be kind to yourself during this challenging time. Treat yourself with the same empathy and understanding you would offer a friend in a similar situation.
Feeling guilty, sad, or even angry at yourself for letting go is normal. But remember that you’re doing what’s best for your own happiness and well-being.
9. Write a Closure Letter
It’s a way to express what’s in your heart and mind, like sharing your thoughts in a friendly letter. This doesn’t necessarily have to be sent. It’s actually for you; it will help you make sense of things and can be a therapeutic way to release emotions.
Write about your feelings, memories, and anything else you need to say. You can also write about the lessons the relationship taught you. Getting everything out of your head on paper and be amazingly therapeutic.
10. Release Blame
Take a deep breath and free yourself from a big bag of guilt and blame, allowing you to move forward with a lighter heart. It’s time to decide not to point fingers at who’s at fault anymore. At this point, it only adds to your suffering unnecessarily.
It’s easier said than done, but remember that no matter what happens, both parties play a role and are responsible for their actions. Release the blame to make room for forgiveness and healing.
11. Focus on the Future
Leave the past behind, what happened, and focus on the endless possibilities that lie ahead. Imagine good things that could happen in this new chapter of your life.
The possibilities are endless, and with a positive mindset, you can create an amazing future for yourself. Think of this new beginning as an opportunity to grow, learn, and discover new things about yourself.
12. Learn from the Experience
Identify lessons learned from the relationship and understand what worked well and what didn’t so you can make wiser choices in the future. Make this experience your map and determine the best route for your next journey.
Learning and growing from a past relationship will help you move forward confidently and clearly in your future relationships.
13. Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness is about being fully present in the moment and noticing your thoughts, feelings, and surroundings without judgment. It can help you cope with difficult emotions and healthily release them.
Practice mindfulness through meditation, breathing exercises, or simply taking a few minutes each day to focus on your senses – what you see, hear, smell, taste, and feel.
14. Forgive
Forgive both yourself and the other person. Forgiveness is a powerful tool for releasing hurt or anger and opening a window to breathe fresh air.
Forgiveness does not mean condoning what happened; rather, it means choosing to let go of negative feelings and move forward without holding grudges. In the end, forgiveness is less about making the other person feel better and more about freeing yourself from negative emotions.
15. Let Go!
It’s time to say goodbye and never look back. Letting go is deciding not to hold onto the past so you can step into the future with a lighter heart. It’s a choice to move on and not let the past define you.
Trust that everything will fall into place, and have faith in yourself. You made the tough decision for a reason, and it’ll all be worth it in the end.
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