10 Ways to Be Good to Yourself: Your Most Important Relationship

There is a quote by Leo Buscaglia that you’ve probably heard: “To love others you must first love yourself.”– And it is absolutely true! Before you can love others, you have to learn how to love yourself and how to be good to yourself.

For some people, it may be trivial to talk about self-love but the truth is that many of us tend to forget to look after ourselves. Moreover, we are often hard on ourselves. This is why today we will dive into self-love and self-care. Let’s see which are the best ways to be good to yourself and improve your most important relationship: with yourself!

1. Take care of your basic needs

The first piece of advice that can help you a lot is to focus on taking care of your basic needs in all areas of your life. Most likely, you think that it’s so obvious that we don’t even need to talk about it. However, in reality, we tend to forget about the most obvious things – such as our basic needs! (So take some time to reflect and assess what your ACTUALLY doing!)

By making sure that all your basic needs are taken care of, you can ensure that you will feel much better in your own skin. Here you should consider each key aspect of self-care:

• physical – such as exercising, having a healthy, balanced diet, sleep, etc.
• social – taking care of your relationships
• mental – including self-reflection and leisure activities
• spiritual – for example, meditation, yoga, praying, and mindfulness
• emotional – such as journaling, having supportive friends, expressing feelings

2. Do things that make you feel good or inspire you each day

Each day try to do some things that brings you joy. These don’t necessarily have to be something huge. You can (and should) enjoy the simple things as well such as listening to music, going for a walk, taking a relaxing bath, reading a book, meditating, dancing, exercising, or taking a nap. – It can be anything that makes you feel good, boosts your self-esteem, or inspires you.

If you have a hard time making these activities your priority, you can create a list of all those activities that you enjoy. Then, aim for doing at least a few of them each day- even if it’s just for a new minutes.

3. Go to nature

Going to nature can do wonders, especially if you are stressed out because of your work, family life, or studies. Go to a nearby park, lake, or forest, take a few deep breaths and listen to the sounds of nature around you. If you want, you can even take with you a book and read or your laptop so you can work while enjoying the beauty of nature. Sunshine and fresh air are great mood boosters!

4. Stop the negative self-talk

Do you often talk to yourself in a negative or derogatory way? Then you have to stop it as soon as possible. Words – even those that are unsaid – have enormous power. Negative thoughts and self-talk can lead to low self-esteem and lack of confidence. Ultimately, you may realize that it sabotages your life. This is why it’s important to change negative self-talk to positive affirmations and promote positivity instead.

5. Surround yourself with people who practice self-love

We all know that it is crucial who we surround ourselves with. If you spend your time with toxic people, then most of the time you will most likely feel drained and upset. However, if you choose to surround yourself with people who love themselves and spread positivity and love, it will affect you positively. You may realize that you start to be kinder and more loving to yourself and others as well.

Related read: Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships

6. Ignore the negativity of others

While it may sound great to have relationships only with positive people, sometimes you just simply can’t avoid having some negative people in your surroundings – for example, a toxic co-worker. In this case, the best you can do is to ignore their negativity. Try to be immune to their negative opinions and don’t let them put you down (a great practice in mindfulness). This way, you can avoid a lot of unnecessary suffering down the road.

This goes for other forms of negativity that we are constantly surrounded by these days, such as social media or the news. Be very picky about what you spend your precious watching and consuming and ask yourself if the negativity you are subjecting yourself to online or while watching TV is worth it? I can tell you that unfollowing certain people, spending less time on social media, and completely tossing out our TV have been huge life savers for my stress levels!

Related read: Healthy Relationship Boundaries Everyone Needs

7. Be patient and give some time to yourself

Do you want to be good to yourself? Then be patient and give some time to yourself to process your feelings and emotions when something bad happens to you. It doesn’t matter whether you had a breakup, a bad day at work, or a fight with your parents, when things go wrong, it’s okay to feel not okay.

The important thing is to acknowledge your feelings and do something to help you move on. Have a good cry, journal, go for a run, take a bath, or dance – do whatever works for you to relieve stress and make you feel better. Ignoring and/or burying your emotions might feel good short term but it’s recipe for an eventual burnout, breakdown, or outburst- which I’m sure we’ve all experienced.

Related read: How to Establish a Daily Mindfulness Routine

8. Practice forgiveness

When someone hurts us, especially if they are our loved ones, we tend to hold on to anger and thoughts of revenge. Liberate yourself from these negative feelings and thoughts by forgiving the person who has hurt you and move on (I know, SO much easier said than done). When you let go of the heaviness of holding anger and grudge, you will feel much better. Remember that after all, forgiveness is for your own good, not only for the other person.

Don’t forget to forgive yourself as well. If you make a mistake or a bad decision, don’t hold on to the negative feelings. Embrace forgiveness and say that next time you will try to do better. This way of thinking can help you bring peace, joy, and hope into your life.

9. Treat yourself the same way you would your loved ones

Most of us are harder on ourselves than on our loved ones. Why? Because we are often less indulgent regarding our weaknesses and mistakes than theirs. Don’t believe me? Then let’s see a simple example.

Let’s say that both you and your best friend would like to lose weight. If your best friend couldn’t lose weight, you would probably be supportive and say positive things. For example, you might say that she will achieve great results very soon. However, if you fail to lose weight, you may be hard on yourself and blame yourself each time you step on the scale. The solution? Treat yourself the same way you would your loved ones.

10. Have a positive mindset and accept that we all make mistakes

Maybe one of the best ways to be good to yourself is to have a positive mindset and a sense of humor. We are human beings so it is normal that we all make mistakes. However, the difference is how we deal with these mistakes. Try to think positively about them. We can not only learn from our mistakes but they can also help us grow. Thus, we can even benefit from them.

The bottom line

In the end, it’s all about being good to yourself. There are many ways you can do this – from taking care of your basic needs (eating a healthy diet and getting enough sleep) to practicing forgiveness. Whether you practice self-love by surrounding yourself with people who do or find time for things that make you happy, ultimately, there is no better feeling than treating yourself well. It may not be easy at first but take some steps towards self-care today and start to live life on your terms!

What did you do today to make you feel better? Let me know in the comments!