self love is not selfish

Self Love is Not Selfish – And Here’s Why

Self love is not selfish, and it never will be.

Many people think if you focus on yourself and you love yourself first, then you don’t love others, or you deprive of others the love that you could give to them. But this is one of the biggest misconceptions in life. Just because you care about yourself and you practice self love doesn’t mean that you are selfish.

You should never feel guilty about loving yourself because self love is the best love that can happen to you. And it is essential. Just think about it, how can you pour true love into others if you don’t get the love that you need within yourself first?

February is traditionally a month of celebrating the love of others- which is also great. But it should also be a the month of self love and self-care. So today, we will go through the most important reasons why self love is not selfish. Plus, I will also give you a few tips on how to love yourself. Because we can all use more love in our life! (My opinion anyways 😉 )

5 reasons why self love is not selfish

do you love yourself

During childhood, we are taught to care for others, be kind to everyone around us, and love our parents, siblings, grandparents, and friends. However, we don’t really learn anything about the importance of self love. We are not formally taught how to love ourselves. Thus, if you start to focus more on yourself, you may feel selfish or even guilty from it. But don’t! The following reasons will show you why you should not feel this way and why self love can positively affect both your mental and physical health.

1. Self love promotes a positive attitude, not only towards yourself but enhances positivity for other people as well.

Practicing self love can be beneficial not only for yourself but also for others. When you change your focus to yourself and value yourself more, this positive attitude will also affect your relationship with the people around you. It’s because when you are more positive towards yourself and celebrate all the amazing things about yourself, you start to look for goodness in other people as well. You will also be kinder and more understanding with them. So it is a true win-win situation.

2. Practicing self love can help you to set healthy boundaries.

self love is not selfish

Some people can set boundaries easily, while others may struggle with it. Honestly, it can be very difficult to say “no” to someone, especially if that person is a close friend or a family member. But in some cases, it may be necessary for your own good.

Practicing self love can help you to bring balance into your life and set healthy boundaries. When you set boundaries, you become more self-aware, you define your values and also tell others how they can treat you. We can say that self-love is form of protection., particularly for your mental health Therefore, setting boundaries may be considered as a “courageous act of self love”.

3. When you respect yourself, you will also have respect for other people.

The next reason why self love is not selfish is about respect.

Has it ever happened to you that someone was judgmental and mean to you seemingly without any reason? This can happen for many reasons. But sometimes it is low self-esteem and the lack of self love that makes someone behave in a bad way towards others.

This is why people should start with loving themselves first. When you love yourself, respect yourself, and feel good about yourself, you will feel that you should also love and respect the people around you. If everyone would prioritize self love, we could avoid a lot of conflicts between people and the world could be a better place as well.

4. When you put your happiness first, you will have more time and energy to care for others.

Putting your happiness first may sound selfish. But I would like to reassure you that it is not if you look at it from another angle. When you are happy and feel loved, you don’t spend precious time doubting and hating yourself, or having any other negative feelings. This way you have more time and energy to care for others and love those people who are important to you. Moreover, by being happy, you can spread happiness towards others.

5. Self love helps you pursue your passions and this can be an inspiration for others.

self love is not selfish

Loving yourself and believing in your abilities will help you get rid of your fears and doubts, so you won’t be afraid of pursuing your dreams and passions anymore. You will finally accept who you are, what you are good at and you will follow your heart no matter what happens. This kind of attitude may be very attractive to others and can be noticed as a form of inspiration. And who knows, maybe this is the kind of inspiration that someone needs to start to pursue their passion.

All you have to do is to take care of your happiness and your heart will be open to caring for other people in your life.

Related read: Self-Reflection Questions You Should Ask Yourself and Why It Matters

How to love yourself

Maybe it is hard to believe but self love is something that must be learned. There is no universal rule that says “do this every day and you will love yourself and be happy”. This is because what works for you, may not work for others. Although if you would like to exercise self love to improve your mental and physical health, you should consider trying the following tips:

  • Express gratitude: By practicing gratitude, you can focus on the good in yourself and your whole life. Simply try to think about what you are grateful for every day and write down at least 3 things.
  • Treat yourself: From time to time give yourself treats without any special reason (as long as they don’t self-sabotage of course).
  • Don’t be afraid to say “no”: Setting boundaries is necessary, so say “no” when you need to.
  • Be present: Focus on yourself and live in the moment without any distractions.
  • Accept your mistakes and imperfections: Nobody is perfect so don’t be hard on yourself and don’t punish yourself for your mistakes. Rather learn from them.
  • Take care of your body: Pay attention to your health from every aspect.
  • Surround yourself with positive people: Our surroundings are important, try to have friends who think positively.
  • Try to cultivate an abundance mindset: Having an abundance mindset is a true blessing because it makes you focus on positive things.
  • Accept the fact that some people don’t like you: It may be difficult to accept when someone doesn’t like you. But there are some people you also don’t like, aren’t there? So just try to let it go and move on. There are so many other people who love you.
  • Give yourself time: Spend some time being alone and reflect on yourself and your life.
self love is the best love

Self love is not selfish, it’s essential.

Self love is something that all of us need. It’s good for you, for your health, and at the end of the day, it is beneficial also for everyone around you. You will see that if you love yourself more, you will feel better, you will have more opportunities and even your relationship with others will improve. So never feel bad for loving yourself.

At first thought, we may blow the idea of self-love off and think that it’s not an issue for us. But how many of us are struggling with competing demands, setting boundaries, and feeling guilty over time spent on ourselves (especially as women)? The first step to more self-love is being aware that there is probably room for improvement. I know for myself, that the quality of relationships significantly improves when I take time for me each morning with exercise, journaling, and reading.

What do you think? Do you love yourself enough? Or should you practice more self love and tune into your own needs?

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