Happy Young woman sleeping in bed

Sleep Divorce: 14 Benefits of Couples to Sleep in Separate Beds

Do you worry that sleeping separately from your partner might create a rift in your relationship? It might sound unconventional or even taboo, but more couples are discovering the surprising benefits of this practice. When two people get married or start living together, sharing the same room, bed, and closet can sometimes become challenging.

According to a recent survey, one in five American couples do not share a bedroom. In modern language, it is called “sleeping divorce,”  but this isn’t because they’re tired of each other. As couples age and their lives change unpredictably, they develop new habits and face issues like medical conditions, insomnia, snoring, and sleep apnea. Such factors can significantly impact their partner’s sleep quality, leading to disturbed or insufficient rest.

If these issues arise, having separate beds or bedrooms can actually strengthen the relationship rather than harm it. While the idea of sleeping apart—without bedtime chats, cuddles, or feeling each other’s presence—might seem strange to some, ask those whose spouses kick their legs in their sleep. Let’s dive into 14 compelling reasons why sleeping apart could actually bring you closer together.

1. Improved Sleep Quality

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When couples start sleeping separately, they are less likely to be disturbed by their partner’s sleeping positions and movements. When the sleep quality is improved, the couple feels more energetic and prepared for the new day and is in a better mood.

A good sleep cycle improves cognitive functions and physical and mental health and enhances the person’s mood. Sleeping on separate beds does not always mean there is trouble in paradise; you prioritize your personal space over discomfort with your mutual decision. This leads to a happy, healthy, and more fulfilling relationship. 

2. Reduced Sleep Disorders

Young man snoring while sleeping in bed. Apnea problem
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Sleep disorders can affect anyone and are nothing to be ashamed of, but it’s crucial to consult a doctor. Many people experience irregular sleep patterns or disorders such as insomnia, sleep apnea, or restless leg syndrome. Sharing a bed can exacerbate these issues.

For instance, research indicates that 40% of women and 57% of men snore. When partners sleep in separate beds, they can use necessary sleep aids, like CPAP machines for sleep apnea, without disturbing each other. This can lead to better treatment of sleep disorders and more restful nights.

3. Personalized Sleep Environments

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Every person has their preferences when it comes to the sleeping environment. Some like to sleep completely dark, while others might want to turn on the light before bed. Some cannot sleep in the slightest noise; others have no issues with it. One partner wants a firm mattress, while the other needs a more softer one. One can sleep at a low temperature, while the other prefers to sleep a bit warmer. 

When they sleep separately, couples can customize their sleep environment. This tailored setup often results in more comfortable and restful sleep.

4. Less Stress and Conflict

Woman can't sleep because of man's snoring in bed
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When a couple has differences while sleeping, it can create tension between them, which can further lead to conflicts and stress. One could get annoyed by the snoring, and the other could have a problem with the light on. Differences in sleep schedules, habits, and preferences can create tension. A study discovered that couples with poor sleep are more likely to be involved in a conflict with their partners.

Sleeping in different beds can avoid many of these disputes. Allowing both spouses to get the sleep they require without sacrificing their comfort may result in a more harmonious relationship. 

5. Improved Intimacy

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You’d think sleeping apart would hurt your intimacy, but it can actually make it better. When couples have their separate beds, they tend to be more thoughtful about making time for each other. This can lead to a more genuine connection and a closer emotional bond.

Also, when you and your partner are well-rested, you’ll have more energy and be in a better mood. That can really help your married life and make your relationship even better overall. Good sleep is critical for a satisfying relationship.

6. Enhanced Independence

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Sleeping in separate beds gives each partner their own space to relax and unwind. This independence and personal space can be crucial for maintaining your own identity within the relationship.

When you have that sense of independence, it helps you appreciate your partner even more. Each of you has your own thing going on, which means you respect each other’s space and needs. That’s super important for a healthy, thriving relationship. 

7. Better Health for Parents of Young Children

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Parents of young children often have disrupted sleep schedules due to nighttime feedings, diaper changes, and soothing their little ones. If one parent handles most of these nighttime duties, sleeping in separate beds can prevent the other from being disturbed.

This arrangement allows the non-caregiving parent to get adequate rest, ensuring that at least one parent is well-rested and can function optimally during the day. It can also prevent resentment from building up due to disrupted sleep.

8. Reduced Impact of Nighttime Habits

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In many couples, one partner is a night owl—whether due to night shift remote jobs, late-night movies, midnight snacks, tossing and turning, or frequent bathroom trips. These habits can disrupt the other partner’s sleep. Choosing to sleep separately doesn’t harm the relationship. It allows each partner to follow their bedtime routine without causing friction. 

9. Easier Management of Different Sleep Needs

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People’s sleep requirements vary with their schedules. Adults should go for 7 to 9 hours of sleep per night, but every person’s requirements are different. When couples sleep in separate beds, each individual can get the amount of sleep they require without sacrificing.

This flexibility can result in better general health and well-being since each couple can obtain the required sleep to perform at their highest level. Moreover, it lessens the chance of sleep deprivation and the health problems that come with it. 

10. Reduced Risk of Disease Transmission

Sick adult woman coughing covering mouth with tissue sitting on a couch
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It’s easy for couples to share more than just love; illnesses and contagious diseases can spread just as quickly. When one sick partner shares a bed with a healthy one, the chances of passing on the illness are high. 

However, sleeping in separate beds or even different rooms can keep both partners healthy and significantly reduce the risk of transmitting coughs, colds, flu, and other pesky illnesses. Stay close emotionally, but sometimes, a little distance physically can work wonders!

11. Increased Appreciation for Shared Moments

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Spending the night apart brings the sensation of appreciation for shared moments between the couple. That is how they cherish the time spent together. This leads to a more meaningful and intentional relationship, strengthening their bond. 

They emotionally connect better than before. It is all about quality over quantity. Many couples sleeping in the same beds do not have a stronger bond than those who sleep separately. 

12. Managing Parasomnias

Sleep disorder, insomnia. Young blonde woman lying on the bed awake
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Parasomnias, a renowned category of sleep disorders, can be very disturbing among couples. This includes abnormal behaviors while sleeping, abnormal movements, sleepwalking, nightmares, and sleep talking. If one of the partners has parasomnias, then the other could be severely affected by it in terms of sleep disruption, getting scared, and feeling incredibly insecure. 

Sleeping in separate bedrooms, rather than in the same or individual beds, helps manage insomnia more effectively. The partner with the condition can apply different safety measures, such as sleep alarms and bed rails, without worrying about the other’s sleep. 

13. Better Skin Care

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Sharing a bed means sharing pillowcases (maybe) and sheets, which can transfer oil, bacteria, and other impurities onto the skin. These contaminants can lead to skin issues such as acne, irritation, or even infections. 

By having separate beds, each partner can maintain their own personal hygiene and skincare routine without worrying about affecting their partner’s skin. 

14. Less Disturbance During Travel

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Couples who travel frequently together may find it easier to adjust to different time zones and schedules if they are used to sleeping apart. This can be particularly beneficial when dealing with long flights, jet lag, or work trips that require different sleeping patterns. By becoming accustomed to varying routines, these couples can maintain their sleep needs while still enjoying their travel experiences together.

Is 6 Hours of Sleep Enough? Here’s What Your Body Does On Different Amounts of Sleep 

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Sleep is a captivating voyage that holds the key to a healthier and more joyful version of yourself. However, how much sleep a person needs differs from one person to another. However, many people ask, is six hours of sleep enough to sustain us throughout the day? To decipher this question, let’s delve into the effects on our bodies when we undergo different durations of rest.

Is 6 Hours of Sleep Enough? Here’s What Your Body Does On Different Amounts of Sleep 

16 Tricks to Calming Your Nerves and Getting a Good Night of Rest (Finally)

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Do racing thoughts disrupt your peaceful sleep? Your solution is at hand. Join an online community of members who have shared practical tips to help you quiet your mind and guarantee a peaceful night’s rest!

16 Tricks to Calming Your Nerves and Getting a Good Night of Rest (Finally)

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