15 Notorious Mistakes Couples Make in a Relationship
Sustaining thriving relationships requires consistent care and attention. However, it’s not uncommon for us to inadvertently make mistakes that put the foundations of our connections at risk. A recent inquiry from a member in an online community ignited a reflective conversation: “In your view, what’s the most significant mistake individuals make in relationships?” The ensuing discussion revealed valuable insights into potential pitfalls that can impact our relationships.
1. Taking Things for Granted and Getting Too Comfortable
A person said, “I think it’s a combination of getting so comfortable with somebody that you take things for granted, stop doing the little things, and stop communicating.“ Many agree, and another shared that he is away from his GF and now missing the small things he usually takes for granted, like just being with her and doing nothing.
2. Taking Too Long to Discuss Future Milestones That Might Not Mesh
An interesting comment said, “Waiting until you’re too far in to discuss marriage and kids. That issue must be hammered before you completely shut yourself off from anyone else.”
Someone added that if you want to be in a long-term relationship with a person, then kids/marriage is such a big thing. If one person wants kids, but the other doesn’t, the relationship will fail in the long run.
3. Not Being on the Same Page
A user shares, “Not being on the same page when it comes to: finances, household responsibilities, and boundaries with external family.” Anytime assumptions are being made, or one person is feeling neglected, it can quickly lead to disaster and tension.
4. Your Partner Not Being Your Friend
A comment said, “Romance and attraction aren’t consistently enough to sustain a relationship/marriage. On the days they don’t, the two people must show up for each other as friends. It will always go a long way.”
“When we were dating, my wife once told me I was her boyfriend and friend. I found that odd. Then she pointed out that her ex had never had the potential to be her friend. They just didn’t match. Since then, I have realized how important this is.” Another added.
5. Lack of Communication When Mad
A user stated, “100% Tension is high at home when my husband and I forget to communicate appropriately.”
“Learning and applying the basics of healthy communication is essential to communicate. Also, pay attention to how your partner communicates, what causes them to withdraw, and how you can approach complex topics to get them to listen and respond effectively. Also, be attentive to their non-verbal cues and signals.” Another said.
6. Lack of Willingness to Compromise
Someone wrote, “Lack of willingness to compromise killed my last relationship. I communicated until I was blue, but it always fell on deaf ears. I resented him like crazy by the time we hit our third anniversary.”
A user added, “A lack of understanding or willingness to compromise around the difference in each other’s needs leads to resentment quickly. Once you resent each other, it’s game over. There’s no real way to return from that.”
7. Never Prioritizing Your Partner
A user said he struggled when he lost his job and focused on building a business. His girlfriend consistently prioritized partying and spending time with friends. Unfortunately, she seemed unwilling to invest effort into the relationship. After a month of her ignorance and party-centric lifestyle, they ultimately broke up.
8. Not Being Able to Apologize When Wrong
A comment said, “If someone tells you they’re upset with you, you don’t need to argue back.”
“Don’t argue about why something shouldn’t have hurt someone. Rather try to understand why it did, and apologize if needed.” Another added.
9. Always Trying to Win Arguments
A user wrote, “The goal should be to solve disagreements as a team, not come out as the victor.” Someone else added, “It’s you and your partner vs. the problem/argument, not you vs. your partner.”
10. One-Sided Effort Causing Resentment
A user said that thinking it’s one person’s work often causes partner resentment. A successful relationship needs commitment and work from both parties.
“Most men unintentionally rely on their female partners as their primary emotional outlet due to a lack of close friendships where they can be vulnerable. This places a heavy burden on their partner, who already carries numerous responsibilities in the relationship.” Another commented.
11. Having a Child to Save Your Relationship
A user stated. “ Having kids has tested even stable relationships. Why do people think having kids will fix things if it’s already rocky.”
12. Arguing Over Completely Useless Things
A comment said, “What I’ve learned in my long relationship thus far is that some things, although annoying, are not worth an argument over. Sure, if he’s cheating or something as big as that, then yes, it’d end in an argument. But I’m not gonna cause WW3 because he came home late or didn’t do something in the house he promised to do, focus your energy on things that matter.”
13. Never Hold a Grudge
Keeping track of who owes who can be a losing game from the start. Holding something over your partners head isn’t going to make anyone happy or loving. Try to focus on being grateful and giving- and you will likely get the same in return if you’re in a good relationship.
14. Not Taking Requests Seriously
Sometimes, something needs to change in the relationship to make it better for each partner. However, if grand plans are made and nothing actually changes, this will lead to a lot of frustration and resentment in the end.
15. Not Understanding a Person’s Love Language
If two partners sent and receive love differently, they may be missing each other’s messages- feeling neglected instead of loved.
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